By the Numbers

In the month of January, I completed 12 runs, 4 bikes, 1 sad little swim, and 3 strength or yoga sessions (not counting a handful of early AM/before bed yoga). I also had 8 sick days and a couple of other recovery days, and 3 planned rest days. Not bad for really just getting back into gear, and being as sick as I was. Assuming I finish this week out as planned, I'll have made three weeks in a row of 6 days of training for the first time in ages. Next week will probably be a step back week, and I'm not sure how I'll handle that yet, but I am feeling a bit of fatigue already this week. But hey, fighting through that is what makes us stronger, right?

And oh yeah, I had a net loss of 3.4 pounds this month, right on track for my next major weight loss goal!

This morning's run was 3.25 of a scheduled 3.0. I decided to use the lap function and divvy up the miles, and try to run negative splits. Well, I started too fast, got faster, and didn't have a whole lot left for the last mile. Next time, I'll do the first mile at the LSD pace, and move on and up from there. I'm also planning on starting to add either one session of hill work or speed work per week, beginning in February. I'm not worried about my speed all that much, I know it will take mostly significant weight loss to get faster, but every extra little bit of assistance I can give my muscles in training will help. Splits from this morning as follows:

Mile 1: 13:57.8
Mile 2: 13:07.4 (really moving, for this slow fat triathlete)
Mile 3: 14:32.9
Mile 3.25: 4:47.3 (walked)
TOTAL: 46:27

Losses

2.0 at weigh-in, and unmeasureable over the weekend. Sometimes, life stinks.

Longer and harder.

Easy 2 mile recovery run on this morning's schedule. It was cold, dark, windy, 20 degrees, 15 mph winds, and the sidewalks were icy in places, so I had to chose my footing slowly and carefully. Still, as I made the turn in my out and back loop to return, and the sidewalk cleared, I realized I wanted to run harder. Maybe it was running next to the sea, which was as roiled and upset as I feel inside. Or maybe it was just the need to find that zone where everything goes away but me, my legs, and my breath. I increased my effort and let my HR run up into Z4 (and apparently even hit Z5), and picked a different way to return. I added an extra half mile which is not a lot of distance, but is 25% more than I had planned. And somewhere out there, I was running at a 10 min/mile pace. I wish my HRM would tell me how long I managed to sustain that pace, not just that I hit it somewhere. Still, it makes me feel like if I continue to work hard, and get lighter, and get stronger, there truly is potential to get faster.

Training Sked - Q1:W5 (modified yet again)

Mon: Run/Walk 2 (AM)/Strength (PM)
Tues: Bike 30-45
Wed: Run 3(AM)/Strength (PM)
Thurs: Swim 45
Fri: Rest/Yoga
Sat: Run 6+
Sun: Bike 60

A tough week, just when I need it most.

When the going gets tough, the tough:

Run 5.3 miles in 20 degrees and no sun;

Make a mean core dinner of 1/2 of a small lean steak, baked tater w/ff sour cream, and steamed asparagus. Yummy petite sirah *not* optional;

Get the shoulder of their best friend all soggy, even if only virtually;

Turn off the TV and read;

and of course SHOP!

I bought myself a book stand for my bike/trainer, and entry into a short Chi Running seminar at the NE Multisport Expo. Later this morning, I'm off to Target with a girlfriend, so who knows what additional trouble I might find.

Rest day

An actual SCHEDULED rest day, not one imposed by necessity. Well, almost necessary, since I was snoozing on the couch by 8:15 last night (and only awakened when the phone rang). It has been a busy busy week, and I'm tired, but I made all 4 scheduled workouts, settled a cazy case I don't enjoy, managed to stay on track with the eating plan, and got *mostly* caught up at work in a week where I had 2 big client meetings, 2 dates with the federal judiciary, started training a new assistant, and filed a couple of pleadings and motions. I feel like I definitely earned the day off. The next two days include the "big" workouts of the week (which I am looking forward to), the usual errand running & cooking for the week, dinner with A, shopping with a friend, and yes, ever more work. But all at a relaxed, not crazy, pace. I can hang out at home, stay in bed until 7 or even, gasp, 8, live in warm woolies & fleece w/ no makeup, lounge on the couch in between the listed stuff, and there is no commuting involved. Life *is* good, even at 5 degrees with crazy wind chills. Tomorrow's run could be interesting :-)

Finally, a loss!

Down 1.8 at weigh-in yesterday, for my first lost since late November. Whew, I needed this :-)

Training schedule for Q1:W4 (revised)

A very very busy week is coming up (work and life), so it will be a good test of balance, et al., and fitting together all of the pieces of the puzzle. I've got a fair amount of good healthy food cooked for the week, which will help. I manged to bring my lunch every day last week, which is a small victory! I also made 6 workouts, but didn't hit the scheduled distances, and totally missed the pool. It was really my first full week back, so I'm not going to beat up on myself too much. This week, I'd like to get closer to meeting all of the dates/times/distances.

M: Run or Walk 2 - DONE
T: Strength/Bike 30 - Walk 2
W: Run 3 - Bike 30
T: Swim 45 - DONE
F: Rest/Yoga - DONE ;-)
S: Bike 45 - Run COLD 5.3
S: Run 6 - Bike 45

A teeny bit warmer weather would be nice, but it doesn't look likely (yet).

Finding the golden mean

It's all about balance, isn't it? Something that my Starbucks latte cup reminded me of this morning.

The good life is the middle way:
Between ambition and compromise;
Between action and reflection;
Between company and solitude;
Between hedonism and abstinence;
Between gluttony and consciousness;
Between passion and judgment;
Between love and hate;
Between discipline and lazyness;
Between the cup of coffee and the bottle of wine.

Modified from the cup, credit to Jay McInerey, author.

Practicing Conscious Eating

Many of us who struggle with weight have a love-hate relationship with food. For many of us, food becomes more than nurishment and fuel, it is transformed magically into comfort, energy, solace, and a way to stuff down our emotional needs and remain stoic and strong. We love it, but then, after overindulging we hate what we ate, and that we ate, we aren't too happy with ourselves either (although thank goodness, I have never even been tempted to resort to the binging/purging habits of a bulemic. I binge, and it ends up on my thighs). Food became a tool for avoidance, or for trying to manipulate the inner emotion or physical state, and those bad habits and poor choices always cycled back on themselves (the cycle of poor eating, not enough exercise, and too much work comes back on itself, and you eat poorly again, to try and feel more energized).

Part of what has helped me lose weight has been focusing on what I eat, why I eat it, and learning to understand my body cues. Not only to eat only when hungry, but to take some other action when I want to stuff down my emotions with food. Call a friend, take a walk, go shopping, or even write in a blog :-) Lately, however, I've found myself backsliding on this piece of the daily work I must do. I'm eating Core on the WW program, which is all about chosing high quality, healthy food, and eating based on cues. I do pretty well, until I get to the end of the day, and everything I've been thinking about and working on overwhelms, or exhausts, and I can't figure out how to manage it on my own. So after the healthy Core dinner (or instead of), I'll sit down and eat something definitely NOT Core, and more than one serving of it. One night is was a couple of granola bars, when I wasn't hungry and had finished my eating for the day. Another night it was enough Pad That for 2 active women. I had stopped at half, but didn't put it away, and 30 minutes later I was finishing the container. OK, so I'm not eating boxes of donuts any more, but I'm still clearly not out of the woods on this topic. It feels HARD right now, and I seem to be struggling.

I need to review the basic principles of conscious eating, and start making this a priority, recognizing my strengths, and managing my weaknesses. And I need to go back to the concept of remembering that my body is indeed a temple.

From a Conscious Eating website:

Conscious Eating (or Yogic Eating) is a guide to the healthiest relationship you can have with food and with yourself, increasing your health and well-being. The body is a temple - the vessel of your soul in this plane of existence - take good care of it!

- Before you eat, relax your body and your mind. Unhealthy eating patterns are often caused by tension and stress. When you experience stress or negative emotions, you lose energy (prana - see more info on this in the pranayama/breathing section). Unconsciously, you want to eat to replace that lost energy.

- Relax before eating, to allow the digesting system to break down the food more easily. Learning to relax throughout your day and you will need less food.

- Make healthy and wise food choices before you eat, and have them available in your home.

- Begin to connect with your inner self. Learn to understand the attitudes which prompt you to eat. Notice tension, emotions and their affect on you, and you will gain a deeper understanding of the motivations that affect your eating patterns.

- Notice when you are naturally hungry - when your appetite is stimulated by the pure physical hunger for food.

- Satisfaction and gratification only come from natural hunger, not the rich and elaborate tastes and textures of the foods we eat.

- An old saying is "Eat to live, don't live to eat." It holds true today. We eat food in order to provide energy to our body and sustain life. On the yogic path, this is so that our body is healthy and can support us in our quest to develop our highest potential.


Training note: I completed a 4.1 mile run today in just under an hour, the longest of the year so far. Felt decent, survived upper 20s with LOTS of wind, although my quads and glutes were FROZEN by the time I finished. I think staying consistent with the training, and eating to support it, will also support my efforts to eat consciously. It's much easier to make good choices, when your body is glowing from the runner's high, and you've expended so much energy to get stronger and fitter.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Winter has finally arrived in New England. Ten degrees this morning when I got up to run, and minus 5 with the windchill, plus patches of black ice everywhere. Still, I geared up - extra fleece, extra wool -- and headed out. I was going down the hill to the beach for my usual loop run and the cold wind made my head ache so badly I turned around. I thought briefly about the gym, but I already had far too many layers on for inside. Instead, I kept to my neighborhood, where the houses blocked some of the wind. 15 minutes later, my legs feeling like blocks of ice, I finished a short loop and came inside.

The good news: torso, head, feet at stayed warm. I just need another layer on the bottom, which is tough when I'm already wearing winter weight, wind-proof, tight tights.

Anyway, at least I got up and tried, which is the main point of this month.

Hey, did I mention its cold out?

Up, up, and away.

And not my beautiful balloon, unless that's a subtle reference to my ballooning rounded backside.

Plus 0.4 at weigh-in today. I'd give myself a little mulligan because of being sick, except I *felt* thinner for the first time in weeks. Since the beginning of December, I've been on a steady climb back up, and I've got to turn that around. Now that I'm well again, I've got to re-focus (for the second time in 2007).

Running in "Weather"

It's a cold, windy rain, that blows no good. 37 degrees, windy, and rather wet for this morning's jaunt.

In order to insulate myself against the elements, I wore the following:

Enell bra
Polar HRM strap (I love love love the soft strap!)
Long sleeved technical running T
Wind-proof running tights
Wool socks
Trail shoes w/ Polar foot pod
Polar RS200SD HRM wrist unit
Waterproof anorak shell (but not breathable)
Wool hat
Technical fabric buff around my neck
180s convertible running gloves

Just for the record, I did a slow 2.1 miles, in 30:28, and ran most of it. That's a 14:32 pace, and at some point I was running at a 12:12 (my "max" pace according to the computer. Nice to know I have that in me somewhere). Average HR 160 (good), max 187 (hit that running up the hill to my house, at the end of the run). I burned somewhere close t0 300 calories.

Now, off to the shower, and my town's MLK - No Place For Hate - Pancake Brekky!

Q1:W3 Schedule (slightly revised)

MON: Run or Walk 2 - Done (2.1 in the rain)
TUES: Strength - Done (full set)
WED: Run 3 - Ran 1.0 in the bitter cold
THURS: Swim 45/Bike 30 -took rest day
FRI: Rest/Yoga - Yoga
SAT: Bike 45+ - Ran 4.1
SUN: Run 5 - Bike 20 mins

Daily: 20 mins yoga and/or meditation at sunrise or before bed
Include Core work on indoor biking days

Beautiful food!

There is nothing like a meal that looks as good as it tastes. This week's veggie dish is a White Bean, Sage, and Squash Ragout with Polenta. The ragout is cooking right now, and it is just so pretty. The bright pieces of squash, chopped tomatoes, white beans, clear onions, and the little green bits of fresh sage looks so bright and cheerful on this cold grey day. It smells fabulous too, and I can't wait to try it tonight. I'll make the polenta right before I'm ready to eat, so it will be warm and fragrant. I wish I had some lovely gruyere, but there is fresh parm/romano that will have to do :-)

Made it out for a 1.75 mile (thanks Polar) hike this morning with a pregnant friend. We usually go twice as long, but she was tired and aching, so we called it quits early. I felt fine though, except for the bit of coughing once we got back. But, it was my first real activity in 10 days. I'm back, and I mean it! Tomorrow, the pool (and sauna) calls. It is cold and grey and miserable, so I *need* that sauna.

On to the recipe:

6 servings

For the ragout:
2T olive oil
1 large onion diced
3c winter squash peeled and roughly chopped-butternut, red kuri, etc.
2-3 cloves garlic, chopped
1" piece of ginger peeled and minced
1 28oz can diced tomatoes
3 c cooked white beans
1T fresh sage minced or 1t dried
fresh black pepper

For the polenta:
6c water
1t salt
3/4c fine yellow grits
3/4c yellow cornmeal
Optional - fragrant grated/shredded cheese (parmesan, asiago, gruyere).

Ragout: heat oil in heavy pot, add onion and pinch of salt and saute 5 mins, until soft. Add squash, garlic and ginger and saute 5 mins-don't brown. Stir in tomatoes with their juice and bring to a boil. Add beans and sage and reduce to low heat and simmer, covered, for 25-30mins. Add water if ragout gets too thick. Season with fresh pepper.

Polenta: In heavy saucepan over high heat bring water to a boil, with added salt. In a bowl combine grits and cornmeal and mix well. While stirring water slowly add the corn mix and whisk smooth. Reduce heat and cook uncovered for 25 mins, stirring from time to time until the polenta pulls away from the sides of the pan. Serve in shallow bowl with ragout on top.

Edited to add: YUM YUM YUM!

Book Tag

From Flo: Grab the book nearest your computer. List the Title and Author. Turn to page 123. Read past the first 5 sentences, then read the next three. Type out those three sentences in your blog, then tag three bloggers.

Into Thin Air, by Jon Krakauer

"Shining my headlamp on a dime-store thermometer clipped to the parka I'd been using as a pillow, I saw that the temperature inside the cramped, two person ten was seven degrees below zero Fahrenheit. "Doug!" I yelled at the lump burrowed in the sleeping bag beside me. "Time to get rolling, Slick. You awake over there?"

Really good book, if you are as fascinated and repelled by serious mountain climbing as I am. I'll leave my dances with peaks to hiking on well-established trails, in decent weather. No crampons and 30-below-zero temps for me, please!

I am tagging:

Jammies;

LBTEPA; and

JoeB

Where I've Come From.

Thank you all for your get well wishes. I'm *much* better, so much so that I am going to actually go move my body tomorrow. Woohooo! In the interim, since I don't have training to babble about, and I've already laid out where I want to GO this year, I thought I set out where I've BEEN. I wrote this essay in response to a request for help for his overweight wife, from one of the tri-drs.

I too have been heavy all my life. I lost 90 pounds in 2+ years by increasing my activity levels, monitoring every bite I ate, and logging both. I followed the Weight Watchers program, counting points and found it worked quite well. I've bounced around a bit in 2006, but am back on track and have another 50-75 to go. I'd be more than happy to talk to your wife via email, or even on the phone, if she's interested.

First of all, she needs to be ready to do the work, for her and no one else. Not because you're being wonderful and supportive, not because she'd keep up with the kids better, but because she is finally sick and tired of being fat. And maybe she's even miserable about it. Exploring why someone is obese, and why they gain weight, and why they eat is really really helpful. I couldn't sustain my weight loss until I had the courage to tell a therapist that I needed help, and I needed to understand. I was a yo-yo WWer for 15 years, losing 20, then gaining back 30, over and over, until I found some courage to talk to a therapist. I don't mean that to sound preachy, but getting to the root of the problem is important, or there may not be long term success.

Logging food. Write down every bit. I didn't pay to join WW, but I had all the stuff, so I used my own journal and tracked everything. I weighed and measured and I drastically changed my eating habits, and especially my portion sizes. No more pizzas for dinner, just a couple of slices and a salad. I did it every day, for every meal and every snack. I planned my meals too. On a day to day basis, and a weekly basis. I was also flexible --- if someone said, lets go to lunch, I'd go. If I ate more than I planned, then I'd make up for that by eating more sparingly at the next meal, or the next day. I also journaled how I felt when I was eating, and about how much I was eating. I paid attention to hunger cues, and tried to follow them.

I watched thin people, and observed how they ate, and how they treated their bodies. I bought a scale. I was afraid of scales, I could never face the bad news, but I bought one, and weighed weekly. I don't weigh more (although I have) because women's bodies particularly vary from day to day for all sorts of reasons which have nothing to do with weight loss or gain.

Logging exercise. I found the President's Council on Physical Fitness web site, which has several different "levels" for logging exercise, to be a terrific way to start. For the first adult challenge, you have to log in some purposeful exercise 5/week, for 6 weeks (or something close). They you win an award. It was SO SO rewarding to feel like I could be a regular exerciser. The next level are the medals, and that was even more fun. Me, the non-athlete, won a bronze medal! From there I moved up the levels until I completed the gold, and then decided shortly thereafter to try tris. I also did stuff that I liked. I swam. I made yoga a regular part of my life again, and I found a gym where I could learn more about weight training. Eventually, I rolled in the running, and the biking, and put it all together in my first triathlon. What a rush that was -- I'll never forget how it felt to finish my first race. NEVER.

Support. Having your family be supportive is terrific, but she needs people who are going through the same thing. I found several groups through the WW message boards (no fee/membership to use). I also found that the more I talked about what I was doing -- with family and friends, the better the support became. I'd go out to dinner with friends, and they'd check with me about the menus -- is there something you can eat here? It also became part of my time with family that on the weekends, I'd get up and go for a walk, or a run, or go to the local Y. They expected I'd be doing that, and started taking that into consideration for the plans for the day. People I were visiting asked me what I needed in the house, while I was there. I can't even begin to quantify how important this was, and how important this support continues to be.

I also read books about nutrition, and exercise, and became a total geek about it all. Losing weight became MY LIFE. Now, I'm trying to learn how to make it part of my life, and balance it with all of the other things I want/need to do. But I've finally got the foundation.

Sorry this is so long, obviously, this is something that I have strong feelings and opinions about. Best of luck to her and you, and I'm happy to do anything else that might help.

/s/
KLN

Ack.

I went back to the office today, and wow, I am just wiped out. I was home and in bed by early afternoon. The staff pretty well ran me out of the place, and people either said "you look terrible," or "you sound just awful." Um, thanks, I think. I guess I need to re-think when I'm going to get back to my training. Better to be fully recovered and healthy, than pushing myself and never fully recovering.

Right?


Right?

Honestly, I don't have the energy, or the lungs for training right now anyway, but it is frustrating. I had gotten off to a decent start, and I hate to lose that momentum. Although that is already gone, anyway. I'm hopeful that if I get plenty of sleep and good nutrition and don't push myself the rest of this work week, I can get back into a light training routine over the weekend, and pick up my full schedule next week.

In the meantime, robitussin and advil are still my best friends.

Darker Before Dawn

It's been a rough few days, I'll leave it at that. My fever, which peaked at almost 103, finally broke on Saturday and I got out of the house today. Ridiculous girl that I am, I went to the track to calibrate my new Polar RS200SD HRM, which arrived (of course) on Thursday. I couldn't leave the toy alone, so I went and did 4 slow walking laps of the track. A glacial 21 min/mile pace.

Since I had a bit of cabin fever, I went over to TJMaxx to look for a new pair of sunglasses. I've been wearing my sliders for everyday wear, and I want something a little girlier. Well, I found glasses, a funky hat, and a pair of glorious Via Spiga kitten-heeled black slingbacks with patent toe caps on major clearance ($198 shoes for $36). Who says you can't be an athlete, and a girlie-girl, all at once!

So now I'm back on the couch for the rest of the day. I need a nap I'm so wiped out, but it was worth it :-)

Edited to add: Nancy, a pic of the shoes (and heels) just for you :-)

Body 100.8, KLN 0

No wonder I was so tired yesterday, and chilled all week. By last night, I was chopped at the knees with the flu: fever, aches, chills, sweats, and funky psychodelic dreams. Back to bed for me. Dang it all.

Body 1: Alarm 0

Maybe it was the midnight foot cramps, or the restless night, or the onset of PMS, but when the alarm went off at 5:30, my body rebelled and said "no." After struggling to get up for a bit, I gave in to the tiredness, turned off the alarm and slept (only fitfully) for another hour.

Instead of the pool this morning, I'll hit it tomorrow, before my 10AM Chiro appointment (to see if he can help this freaking aching right achilles). I can sleep until 7, as if it were really a rest day, and still make that schedule. I'm also packing my gym bag and will spin on the stationary bike for at least 30 minutes, after work.

I wonder how many resolutionists will be there tonight? I've not been since NYE day, when the place was packed.

Better go re-pack the gym bag with cycling shorts, instead of swimming gear.

"The" Menagerie

Doesn't she look comfy, in "my" spot on the couch. That's two meeses, two dogs (because every cat needs dogs to torture), a frog, and a trout. Mmmm, trout!

About to torture her "pets."

You will note, I didn't call any of it "my" menagerie. Most days, I doubt I even own the cat. I feed her, pay to keep her warm (or cool) during the day when I'm at work, and hire someone to come in and amuse her when I'm out of town. In return, she graces me with her presence on my bed, and on my hip when its particularly cool outside. She even greets me when I come home, which pretty much makes it all worth while.

As for the stuffies, I used to have many, I was an animal girl! When I left DC to go to law school, I packed up all of them into big green trash bags (I filled several) and took them to a house for aids babies. I only have a few, really sentimental ones left, and they are packed away in a cedar chest.

Thanks Linea, for the idea!

Moon Over Hull, and Another Run

The Moon: Gorgeous full moon last night, and again this morning, when I went out for my run. It was hanging low, just over the ocean when I got back to Hull after work. The glow on the ocean, which was flat and calm, was as bright as if it were frozen and white.

This morning, the moon was hanging just over the sidewalk I ran, heading north up the peninsula. I wish I had brought my camera to take a picture, but I'll have the image in my mind, anyway.

The Run: 3 miles, easy pace, which felt good and comfortable. I think this is about where I should be on my LSD days, maybe even a teeny bit slower. My goal this first month back is to be consistent in moving my body, but not to worry about speed or exact distance too much. I just want to feel good, and ease my body back into a regular routine, and stay injury free. I'm still dealing with nagging achilles pain, and I have to get that straightened out.

Mile 1: 14:14
Mile 2 (walk): 13:52 (I cut it a little short)
Mile 3: 14:01 - negative split, woohoo!

Q1:W1 Schedule

MON: Run or Walk 2
TUES: Strength
WED: Run 3
THURS: Swim 45/Bike 30
FRI: Rest/Yoga
SAT: Bike 45
SUN: Run 4

Daily: 20 mins yoga and/or meditation at sunrise or before bed
Include Core work on indoor biking days

Q1 Training Plan

Mon: Run or Walk
Tues: Strength and bike on alternate weeks
Wed: Short run/Hills or Speed
Thurs: Swim and bike on alternate weeks
Fri: Rest/Yoga
Sat: Long Bike
Sun: Long Run

Daily: 20 mins yoga and/or meditation at sunrise or before bed

Include core work on indoor biking days, if possible

I'd like to do more, but this is what I think is realistic and doable (funny how something that is a LOT, looks so measily, when you compare it to what you *want* to get done). At the start of each week, I'll post my specific plan for the week, and check off how I do.

Get Lighter, Get Stronger, Get Faster

2007's mantra and theme.

In order to implement this mode for the year, I will do the following:

Eat high quality foods (CORE on WW) - fruits, veggies, whole grains, low fat dairy, lean proteins, and tea instead of coffee, limiting sugar, fat, and white flour.

Log my food daily, and eat based on hunger, not desire.

Be consistent in my training. Make a plan and stick to it.

Work harder at my strength training, to help avoid injury.

Be persistent, and continue to work on mental toughness issues. If I can focus on, and buckle down for work, I can do the same for my own life.

Know when to say "no." Don't take on too much.

Stay organized, do a little every day if necessary.

Get enough sleep. Figure out the sleep issues, and get to a consistent 7.5 hours a night.

Never forget to have fun!

If I do all of these things consistently, I plan to lose 50 additional pounds this year (or something close to that), race in and complete my first half marathon, and complete at least 2 more sprint triathlons, improving my times so I can shoot for my first Oly in 2008. Finally, I'd like to become a more confident, skilled cyclist.

Happy New Year!!

Yep, I'm home in my jammies, for the first time since NYE 2000. S'ok, I'm tired after today's TGK Tri, and the person I'd most like to celebrate with is, at the moment, far far away. Heck, *most* of the people I'd like to celebrate with are far away tonight. So here's a glass to all of you, and may 2007 bring everyone peace, joy, health, prosperity, and wings on your feet.