QOTD

"When you're stuck sitting in a comfort zone, small problems become magnified. Get out of your comfort zone, touch the edge, and you come back with an appreciation for life."

- Barbara Warren, 1943-2008

Racing my first triathlon was *definitely* outside my comfort zone, and so has been treating myself like an actual athlete. I will continue to push myself to stay outside of the comfort zone, although what I really need to work on is getting to a place where treating myself like an athlete is the norm.


Not a whole lot to report this week. Work has taken over my life and I've been exhausted, but I got a lot of rest this weekend, some yoga, and I have a PLAN for this week. Plus a pre-packed gym bag, work clothes, and lunch. I've realized, if I'm not hyper-organized, the little stuff gets in the way of progress.

RE-Starting, AGAIN.

What can I say, I'm not quitting, and I have to remember the mantra I've clipped from Tri-DRS member CathyM: "relentless progress forward."

So I haven't been relentless, nor have I moved forward, but I'm taking it on again. Balancing work and life and food and training and sleep and eczema has been very difficult, but I've got no excuses left. I also have a window coming up -- a chance to try out the PLAN (deets below) with less stress than typical. And to remind myself of the GOAL (jeans + fitness).

I'm sleeping so much better now, getting to bed at a sane hour, sleeping through the night most nights, and awake around 6. I finally feel like I've caught up on some of that lost sleep, so at 6, I can get out of bed and MOVE.

I have not been doing well with trigger foods, either. Thus, I'm doing something I don't like to do, but its necessary for a short time. I'm de-toxing: focussing on eating only lean protein, fruits and veggies, a little skim milk or FF yogurt in the morning, and a little good fat. To drink, water and de-caff or green tea. No sugars, No flour, No grains, No cheese, No coffee (not even de-caff). In two weeks I'll see how its going, and how I'm feeling. I have to admit, I had a serious jones for some baked goods this afternoon, but I worked through it, and dinner comes shortly, so I'll be fine.

I ran yesterday, for the first time in almost 2 weeks. I spent some time on core/strength training today. Tomorrow my lovely "long" run or a bike ride if I can get out early enough to beat the traffic.

Wow, more thunder. So the day began, so it ends. Today has been rainy, sunny, cool and foggy. Welcome to spring in New England.

Eat Food. Mostly Plants. Not Too Much.

from Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food:

1. Eat Food.

• Avoid food products containing ingredients that are unfamilar, unpronounceable, more than five in number, and include high-fructose corn syrup or transfats.
• Avoid food products that make health claims.
• Shop the periphery of the supermarket - stay out of the middle.
• Get out of the supermarket where ever possible. (buy from farmers markets, CSA, local stands)

2. Mostly Plants.

• Eat mostly plants, especially leaves.
• You are what you eat eats too.
• If you have the space buy a freezer.
• Eat well-grown food from healthy soils.
• Eat like an omnivore.
• Eat wild foods when you can.
• Be the kind of person who takes supplements.
• Eat more like the french, or the italians or the japanese, or the indians or the greek. (i.e., eat traditional, non western, diets).
• Regard nontraditional foods with skepticism. (Soy isoflavones are a good example).
• Don't look for the magic bullet in traditional diets. (its not one thing, its the whole way of approaching eating)
• Have a glass of wine with dinner.

3. Not Too Much.

• Pay more, eat less. (quality is better than quantity)
• Eat meals.
• Eat at a table. (A desk or a couch is not a table).
• Don't get your fuel from the same place your car does.
• Try not to eat alone.
• Consult your gut.
• Eat slowly.
• Cook, and plant a garden if you can.

Welcome to the Grand Illusion (with apologies to Styx)

I've been fooling myself. I cannot ignore the WW program and expect to lose weight. I cannot eat with impunity because I still cannot eat *properly.* I still have -- and will always have -- an eating disorder. For the rest of my life I will always have to weigh and measure. For the rest of my life I will have to think about every bite. For the rest of my life I will have to be accountable for what I put into my body.

It's not all bad though. I know that the program *works* and that if I keep doing it properly, I will have success. I also know that I can do the program properly. So instead of fooling myself, I have to do what I know. Some days are going to be painful. Some days I'll be faced with choices I don't want to make. But in the end, I'll be healthier, fitter, faster, and more content with myself.

The plan is simple, really:

1. Back to veggie eating, with fish mixed in. I feel healthier doing this, for some reason.
2. Journal, journal, journal.
3. Don't give in to cravings -- grit my teeth, say no, and they will eventually be banished.
4. Figure out the balance between work/life/training. Know it may require constant adjustment as well as constant vigilance.
5. MOVE. I have a 10K next Sunday which I am walking -- but I will be out there moving. Once I get past that event, I need another goal, and a training plan I can live with.
5a. Become one with my bike. Its time to really put cycling in the forefront of my training, especially if I want to race at Pumpkinman in October.
6. Have Faith in myself.
7. Don't forget my various support networks.
8. Use visualization and mediation more.
9. Remember the skinny jeans!

Various Updates

I've updated the Project Blue Jeans tally. After a off-course late December, the holidays, and January being more out of control than I planned/expected, and three days on prednisone for a recurring bout of excema, I'm up 1.5 from my early December low. I'll take it for now, be glad its not a larger number (especially since the average holiday weight gain is 3-5 pounds) and move onward and downward.

My goal is still to get into those jeans by spring, but Valentines Day doesn't appear to be realistic. No worries, I'll still get there!

The February 10K is 4 1/2 weeks away and I am sadly untrained. I'll keep on pushing but I intend to make the race a lovely energetic walk, with some run intervals thrown in. I know the course pretty well, and I know I can make it through.

The swimming I discovered imbalance mirrors my hip/leg/quad/glute imbalance. I'm stronger on the right than the left, and I overcompensate my using the right too much. I discovered I was pulling much more forcefully with right side, as well as gliding longer on that side. I breathe to the left, but if I train myself to get more comfortable breathing to the right, I hope I can even out my effort and improve the balance between the two sides.

Shiva Rea's Yoga Shakti DVD has a fabulous Lunar practice that is exactly right for calming your body and mind at the end of a long day.

Working on balance.

It is never easy, but I keep on trying, and hopefully, learning. Today was a pretty good, very full day. I got up early and hit the office (yes, work is mostly insane again). After I finished what I needed to do, I went to the gym for my first swim of the year, and the first in ages. I am soooo out of swimming shape, but I had a good, productive workout, and noticed some things about my stroke I hadn't figured out before. After the swim a short sauna, linner at my favorite Indian place, and then home to watch the Pats (18-0, baby!) in between more house chores and some cooking.

New recipe of the week:
Curried Squash & Chicken Soup
Makes 2 servings, 1 3/4 cups each
Ingredients
1 10-ounce package frozen pureed winter squash
½ cup "lite" coconut milk
½ cup water
8 ounces boneless, skinless chicken breast, thinly sliced (I used 4 oz of sliced thai-spiced tofu instead)
1 6-ounce bag baby spinach
2 teaspoons lime juice
2 teaspoons brown sugar
½-1 teaspoon Thai red curry paste
¼ teaspoon salt

Heat squash, coconut milk and water in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the squash defrosts, about 10 minutes. Add chicken, reduce heat to medium and simmer, stirring occasionally, for 3 minutes. Stir in spinach, lime juice, sugar, curry paste to taste and salt and continue cooking until the chicken/tofu is cooked through, about 3 minutes longer.

From Eatingwell.com

NOTE: Toast the curry paste in the bottom of the pot first, it improves the flavor. I also used the juice of one whole lime.

Looks and smells fabulous, how nice to have it tucked away in the fridge for later in the week. Tomorrow is another ambitious day. I'm considering hitting a 6AM yoga class, which means leaving by 5:20 AM. After that, more work, but hopefully out by lunch-time (It is MLK day, after all), and then maybe some x-country skiing before I head home to chill out a bit. I'm off to pack my yoga bag, and load my skiis, and then curl up in bed with a good book.