Fear

Lately, I've been thinking about fear, and stepping outside the protective walls we create for ourselves. I've been so so stuck the last few months, and unhappy with my training. It seems like the joy has gone out of this work for me, and I don't really understand why. I'm not working hard, and that was where much of the fun was -- the constant challenge.

After reading Joe B's race report, and a similar report from Hurricane Bob, it all became a little clearer. I have been afraid to push myself, to feel that edge, to hurt, and then to go beyond it. Probably, because I've experienced too much hurt the last 6 months, and I'm still in protective mode.

But time goes on, the river flows, life is evening out, and it is past time for me to step out of that protective cocoon I've so carefully (and perhaps unconsciously) woven around myself. I want to be a butterfly again.